Britain Tremble: Something dreadful this way comes

Forget Myan and Evangelical prophesies of impending doom. Forget Nostradamus and all other such nonsense. A very real and far more terrifying prospect looms on the horizon. I am speaking about an invasion. This invasion is due to hit the BBC in the not too distant future. It’s name is Ryan Tubridy.

For those of you who do not know of him, allow me to briefly surmise the walking windbag of whom I speak. Ryan Tubridy is a presenter on Irish television. Ryan is the leading candidate, in a very deep pool, for Irelands most punchable face. His broadcast style is nauseating in the extreme. He offends my eyes and ears. Ryan recently revealed that he is in talks to move his brand of shallow, idol, wishy washy, arsey, self absorbed chat show to the BBC. http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/breaking/2011/0414/breaking63.html.

You may well think I’m overreacting. After all, it’s only one slot (albeit a particularly one – previous incumbents being Messrs Jonathon Ross and Graham Norton). But this is how it began in Ireland. One broadcast became many and, before long, you couldn’t turn the TV on without being confronted by him. I fear he may have followed me over to Britain. Such is my fervent dislike for him that I live in fear that a man I have never met may be physically tracking my movements. Mark my words. This man is not Graham Norton. Nor is he Terry Wogan, Gay Byrne or even Henry Keller (the Going for Gold anchor – showing my age?).

Ryan recently got exposure for failing to tempt the British Monarch into drinking a pint of Guinness. I don’t blame the Queen even remotely. If this man approached you in a bar, he would be the last person you would consider accepting a drink from.

If you think the British royal family looked bored, wait until his talk show hits the airwaves later this summer. Close your ears and run for cover. Something dreadful this way comes.

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