Next Stop Work Experience

One question and it has me in a bit of a quandary. How is one supposed to gain experience in the media when the vast majority of media internships out there demand previous media experience? This seems to me to be grossly unfair. I am trying. God knows, the independent film producers of London must have a file as thick as Wayne Rooney’s head on me at this stage. Pilots have flight simulators and doctors have cadavers. It’s time for a change. The revolution starts now.

I don’t wish to sound bitter but the experience of watching the vast majority of television programming is hmmm… how to put this delicately? Best described as like attaching a brain eating parasite to your ear drum in the slim hope that it won’t find it’s way inside. You turn on the television in the hope of being inspired. You flick through the channels hoping for something. Anything. And what do you get? Night Rider guy and Piers Morgan judging people.

Here is a revolutionary idea for network executives. The next time you decide to green light a new season of Britain’s Most Obnoxious Chef, take a deep breath, and don’t do it. Being on a media course has shown me that there is more than enough talent out there to create quality programming. Instead, go to your local student bar and throw your budget at the poorest looking person you can find. That person is most probably me!

The problem is that most of us will work for free for a year or so (providing we somehow gain experience – or lie about it), pack it in and go work in a bank, office, or in my case, the snappy pizza in Tooting Broadway. Take a group of students, bring us into a room, give us coffee and booze and watch the ideas flow. Yes, give us a chance. We have brains but we are not getting the chance to show them off. Why not? You have nothing to lose by hiring somebody with no experience. Give us a project. If the best that we can come up with is a docu-soap about narcissistic idiots then so be it. It will fit nicely into the prime-time slot!

Students of the world unite. The revolution begins here.

2 Responses to “Next Stop Work Experience”
  1. Just floating an idea. But have you considered moving in front of the lens? Surely a genuine lack of exposure is an asset in genres like, say, adult entertainment?

    • Dear Jimmy. Moving in front of the lens is ill advised when you consider that I have a face that could turn mighty Perseus to stone and has been known to, on occasion, crack mirrors. Besides, I thought my days in the amateur porn industry were firmly in the past. However, had i had my camera on my person on saturday night – bow chicca bow wa!!!!!!

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