In Bed with the Pope!

Who would have thought that the Pope had it so good? The Lord save us and bless us! I have just completed watching the first series of The Borgias. Starring the always excellent Jeromy Irons, The Borgias is a non-stop- sex-fueled joyride into the life of the occupants of the Vatican.

The Pope has a very attractive ex-mistress and mother of his children. He also has a new mistress who is so achingly beautiful it makes me want to go to confession just looking at her. I was blissfully unaware that the holy fathers enjoyed such a fruitful sex life. Had I known the truth, I might have pursued the ecclesiastical future that my grandmother had mapped out for me. Shame about the intervening twenty five years of debauchery and sin. I doubt they would have me now.

The Borgias is over the top but also quite brilliantly entertaining. Throw your history books out the window. This Pope is truly rock’n’roll. He makes grumpy old Ratzinger look like… well… a grumpy old bigoted windbag with a questionable past (don’t mention the war). When they are not making love, the Borgias like to have metaphor heavy dialogue about carnal desires, murder, plotting or whatever else occupies there sacred little heads. Bless them.

If people spouting ye-olden-timey words like thou, behest, lecherous and knowest while behaving like the cast of The Only Way is Essex doesn’t float your boat, then there is another reason to tune in: actor Sean Harris. Sean first came to my attention in the absolutely unmissable Red Riding Trilogy. You haven’t seen it? For shame. Down on your knees, seven our fathers, get thee to a nunnery, prepare yourself for corporal mortification… apologies, I’m getting carried away with the religious theme. Really, everybody should watch Red Riding. It is the best piece of drama, television or film, that mine eyes hath born witness to in years (again apologies for getting a bit to into the spirit of things).

Watch The Borgias! It’s ridiculously entertaining but nowhere bloody near as good as the Red Riding Trilogy. Watch the two trailers below and decide for yourself. Apologies for the cheeseball American voice over on the second. You don’t need to be a lapsed Catholic to enjoy either of them, but it helps.


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